I don't know anything about modern life, didn't realize it's that hard. Sorry about your situation. I know what it's like to be an alienated kid, no one should have to ever experience it.
I know it's meaningless but I wish you best. I hope you'll find your own path and meet good people along the way. I hope you'll be given the support you need and deserve.
Being a hopeless "millenial" with no future and being despised both by the previous and the next generations is a horrible thing too.
I had no positive experiences growing up, no youth to speak of. I can't get over it and it haunts me every day.
I feel incomplete, lonely, cripplingly unfulfilled and unhappy.
I was told to learn to "deal with it" but I just can't.
I spent my whole life quietly suffering behind a stoic mask, that's what society expected me to do. Every time I tried to be the real me and seek a genuine connection to others I'd be shunned, even punished for stepping out of line.
Everyone was always busy with their own problems and they treated my calls for help as assault against their own difficult lives.
I know the rules, I accepted them for a long time and tried my best to kill myself inside, and live like I'm expected to but I can't take it anymore.
I never got used to the pain. The longer it goes on the more it hurts.
I'm broken and I can't pick up the pieces myself. I need someone but no one wants to even know such a person, let alone dedicate their valuable time and heart to really help someone like me become alive.
I really hate the saying "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." In many contexts it's just wrong.
Things like training and conditioning might make you strong despite being unpleasant but only if they're conducted safely in a proper manner.
Experiencing true accidents and trauma often makes one weaker. If it doesn't maim and cripple it might reward survival with fear, doubts and chronic pain.
I lived through hardship both in physical and mental sense, and none of it made me any stronger.
I'm shattered. I'm old. All is lost. I can't live and I can't even kill myself.