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A general discussion board for whatever is on your mind.
I'm sitting here listening to some Eurobeat while drinking a bottle of water.
I often imagine myself as a succesful normal person. It sounds lame typing it out but it feels amazing in my head.
How do you feel after you've finished masturbated?
It used to be that I would feel ashamed for masturbating but now it's either a very small hint of shame or no shame at all. I often feel very clear headed after masturbating because my desire for female companionship disappears completely. It's a nice feeling but it doesn't last for long.
Do you have different modes that you operate in when you're on the internet?
I started out as a 100% lurker and now I'm back to 90% lurker. It has always been difficult for me to socialize with people even on the internet especially traditional forums with accounts. I think the reason why it's difficult for me to socialize is simply because I'm not interesting or creative. It was hard to accept that fact but after many years I've realized that it's a true fact about myself.
Anyways these were and some still are my different modes of operation on the internet over the years:
- Depressed suicidal poster
- I want to look smart on the internet poster
- Genuine just be myself poster (usually focused on my hobbies)
- Passive-aggressive/lying/shit poster
My internet social life is about as lame as my real life lmao.
My sisters are able to consistently make choices that move them to new places in life. Even if they don't always choose well, the results are new experiences or situations that continue to branch out. By contrast, all my choices are made to keep me in a static and isolated state. Even though I laugh at their occasional self-wrought misfortunes and smugly act as if my choices are better and more reasonable, I can't tell if I'm content or just scared to move. I'm not unhappy with my situation but when I get a chance that might lead somewhere new, I feel a compulsion to reject it.
If you're still sitting on the launchpad, refusing to take off, what's your motivation?
Ever been here before? This website has some very strange content with videos and music. I remember coming across this content back in 2006 through a YouTube video called "Mormon Baits" along with other "Goat Worship" videos. It definitely has some weird elements. If you're interested in strange horror, strange humor, and ARGs. You might enjoy this place.
Falling in love with every average looking girl that you see.
Usually on smaller internet communities I often see politeness that feels forced. I've spent most of my internet time lurking and posting on anonymous imageboards and textboards and I've noticed that it's always the smaller and stricter communities that have a weird atmosphere of falseness that makes it uncomfortable to even lurk.
...think about killing yourself.
Life may have value but living has not.
I'll never be able to get myself the things I want and if I ever will, I'll be too old anyway. Should I kill myself?
I've been thinking alot about this concept of "stage world" (forgive me, the word functions better in german) recently.
I started thinking about this some weeks ago, when I found out that both Joker and some of the outlets which were opely criticising and calling for the movie to be 'canceled' were in fact owned by one and the same company, seeking to turn manufactured outrage into a monetary gain.
I started playing around with the idea, the same way I thought about solipsism a few months back. I started thinking stuff like "Was that comversation just planned by someone?" or "Was this placed here on purpose?" I now, as I am writing this, think what it comes down to is beliving that someone or some corporation already has it's shadowy grip all around the world and is already controling everything.
And I don't mean that in an "Hurr Durr The media is lying" kinda way. Like how do you prove that a person you are very close to is in fact that person and not a actor? Or a robot? Or a illusion? How do you know that, when you tear down your bathroom wall, there won't be a full backstage area behind it and a few confused employees asking why you "broke out"?
How do you know anything? Even logical things, maths, how do you know? If you miscalculated something once, what makes you sure you did it right the second time?
I still haven't quite figured this all out, and at the moment, it is quite early in the morning so I am kinda tired. Maybe what I wrote down made sense, maybe it didn't. Make of it what you want.
How do I even know this website is real? How do I verify that the other posts are made by actual people?
I'm trying to become more masculine. I've been working out daily. It feels incredible to push my body into new boundaries. The only thing missing is a masculine personality. I don't have a personality which is a great place to start. I'm already pretty quiet most of the time which is great because that is the first thing to do. I see masculine guys and they are often quiet with a strong stoic face. They're not like autistic ADHD man-child that constantly have to talk talk talk to the point of annoyance even for other lite autistic man-child. I've seen such situation happen before it was pretty funny.
Anyways the masculine personality I think will attract high quality non-primitive females. This is the goal of course as I often see high quality non-primitive girls looking at strong men with masculine personality but the man is so masculine that he doesn't even care that HQNP females are looking at him. He just basks and absorb the energy of these HQNP females and is restored constantly while not shackling himself to such lowly creatures.
This is the ideal. This is what I want.
just frustrated virgins? I'm a virgin myself and my attraction towards little girls was largely because I couldn't get any girls around my age. I have a feeling that many of them are in the same boat.
I don't speak often in real life because I don't want to expose my autistic tendencies. This has been going on for many years now. If you're not neurotypical then you will suffer a lot in real life.
I'm planning on adding MP4 and WEBM support to the imageboard. This will take me a couple of days or more to finish.
even though i hope this isn't the case, it is hard not to see the world in a bad light. if you take a look around you, you can see corruption is everywhere. for example, have you noticed that many people are lazy and selfish? and that a lot of them would cheat and lie if they could benefit from doing so, instead of doing the right thing? so it is no wonder why issues such as nepotism, crime, cheating, and etc. are so prevalent.
and yet here i am, trying in my own way to somehow contribute to the betterment of humanity. and i feel stupid for doing this, because i have no actual reason for why i want to do this...
I'm reading (listening to audiobooks) the night watch series of books. I like it so far, it has some nice ideas about concepts and plot and the characters are good, I care about them.
What are you reading? Do you like it?
I found out that I have high iron, high calcium, high protien, high cholesterol, and critically high triglycerides. Also my sugar wasn't too high but it was more on the high side as well borderline to put it in that context.
Is there anyone here that could recommend a healthy balanced diet to bring these down?
I've already completely stopped drinking soda, cut back on how much milk I was drinking, drinking unsweetened tea, and two cups of coffee in the morning or afternoons. I've also been drinking a lot more water and watching my sugar intake from juices as well. I've even switched my coffee creamer to silk almond creamer.
As far as foods, I'm eating a lot more fruits and vegetables, cutting back on how many times I eat meat a week. I'm lowering it down to 2-3 times a week. I was literally eating a meal with meat every single day. I've been eating more nuts in place of the reduced meat and just eating things in lower proportions.
Ugly + Short + Ethnic = GAME OVER
I was at college today drinking my $3 mocha and eating my $1.85 blueberry muffin by myself, because I have no friends, on a stone bench+table under an umbrella shading me from the hot sun when I saw a familiar sight... Under the speckled shade of a large and tall tree were three White male and two White female. They were tall, beautiful and were dressed in the typical summer attire of tees and shorts. They were chatting and laughing at one another having a good time while I observed them from time to time. I've seen this sight many times before and every time I see it I can feel all my hopes and dreams crumbling apart.
I'm sick of having primal urges over women. Obsession over their bodies and wanting physical relationships with them. But I utterly find them disgusting on the inside. Their personalities are very stale and unforgiving to me. I truly hate them. I'm sick of this constant feeling of desire to have sex. I want to truly become independent of that desire and never interact with them again. They're truly nothing more than a waste of time and I could be doing something much more fulfilling in my life then wishing I could only have sex and then masturbate.
Can you pinpoint the cause of your current state of life to one exact event?
Just wondering roughly what the age groups are that's coming here.
I can't handle any amout of stress. Even school feels stressful now. I know that this is probably nothing compared to the burden some of you people have to go trough, but I just can't do anything. When I get home, I just feel fatigued. I just sink down in front of my computer and can't even get myself to play any games or similar. Then, the next morning, another day, another stressful entry in my life. I just want to stop and remain in one place forever, and if it would have to be my bathroom in the morning. No, I have to go, have to move, get on the train to the city, return in the evening, repeat. Sometimes I imagine how it would feel if I would just fell before the train in the morning.
I haven't actively had a social life since 2012.
Things are starting to feel extremely grim and bleak moving forward to the future.
Entering a new decade without any friends or family is tearing me apart.
I want to start making money in attempts of living on my own. But I don't want to "put my real identity" out there. I'm not trying to get rich but be able to pay my own bills, etc. Then have a bit of spending money towards various interests I have. I also would like to possibly live tax-free. I guess if I had to have a roommate that would be okay and in a slight bit of possibility. I don't want to also attract any unnecessary attention to myself. I've thought about getting into cryptocurrency but I live nowhere remotely near a "Bitcoin ATM" or anything else. My only thoughts regarding that is to get a hardware wallet. But I also have no contacts that I could trade with for cash or any other monetary/goods value.
Any advice or suggestions based on my thread entry here on /d/?
Thank you for taking the time to read my post.
Seems a bit more /comfy/ for my tastes than imageboards these days.
I want to be a in a better place so I can make 2020 as productive as possible.
This place seemed a bit more active like a week or so ago.
I look ugly on all of the photo IDs that I have. Today I got my college ID and I look ugly as fuck. When the girl was handing me the ID she tried to force a smile. The thought of showing my ID card to people makes me so anxious.
if you cut your own hair? lmao I look like an autistic retard. holy shit man my life is so stupid
I often feel mediocre. I'm just another replaceable worker drone.
Did you guys have a spiritual awakening yet?
I always found this topic hilarious, because I thought it was crazy talk.
But recently, I have spiritually connected with the good and pure, and now I understand what those people meant.
To those who don't get it: For me, it made me strongly care about my ideals again. When I see something that is wrong / imperfect or even degenerate, I get upset. I have extremely high demands for my works.
How is it with you?
Would it be too weird for me to wash my face in the school restroom?
I have an oily face and when I'm at college I get the urge to wash my face so that my ugliness doesn't get amplified by my oily sebum. I'm thinking of bringing a pocket size Cetaphil and a dry face towel with me to college so that I can wash my face when it gets oily. When I'm at home I can keep my oily face under control because I am free to wash it whenever I want but when I'm at college I don't have such a luxury.
The only potential issue holding me back is that people might make fun of me or something... Would it be too weird? Honestly, I really want to do it and I think I will do it but I just want to hear your opinion on this matter. It just makes sense to me that I wash my oily face what could be wrong about that? I've seen people do bad things in a public restroom before so washing your face shouldn't be a problem.
About three years ago I learnt of key lime pie and I'm still yet to try it. Have you tried key lime pie? What do you think of it? What desserts do you enjoy?
I've been interested in cryptocurrency for years now and wanting to get involved now. However, I have no money to invest. Also I would want to do this all anonymously. Eventually save up the money and move out of my current country to enjoy the remainder of my life elsewhere in private and never interacting with others.
*Pushes button* Vrooommm
Old tube style TVs are one of these things which are simply awesome. They are big, bulky, magical boxes and can probably kill you in several different ways if you mistreat them.
I recently took the smaller CRT TV down from the attic and sat it up in my room. There isn't much which is more comfortable than sinking down in front of it, equipped with a big can of tea, while it is cold or raining (or both) outside. Just zoning out, forgetting that anything else exists, it is just you and the humming black box in this universe.
- Finish college
- Get a job
- Move out of parent's house
- Fix my face
- Learn to drive a car
People will often tell me that it's my fault and not my parents. I disagree my parents have failed in their job as parents. Neglectful idiots who've told me lies for so many years now. I really hate them.
After doing some more thinking on it I'm not completely sure if I should make an archive. Pruning threads automatically seems to keep in line with the general philosophy of most anonymous discussion board. Instead of archiving threads I could just increase the active thread limit from 15 to 20.
I'm literally at a point where I can only manage to get around 4-5 hours of sleep and then stay up for 28-30 hours at a time.
I get terribly anxious when I try to ride a car. I don't even have a car license at my age of 25. I think a motorcycle would be a better fit for me since one of my problems with cars is that they are too big for me to maneuver well. A small motorcycle like the Honda Grom or Monkey would be quite easy and nice to ride.
I often use my bicycle to commute to work when the weather isn't too bad which is mostly the case here in California. I think I can easily transition to a motorcycle. What do you guys think?
Mine's just a gray square now.
I had to clear away the threads sorry about that.
- Spam protection has been removed because it's unnecessary, useless, and can be an annoyance.
- Empty post will now be properly detected and discarded.