Disconnected from Reality
#0 Wed Sep 23 01:01:08 PDT 2020
I'm not a functional human being anymore. I get severe social anxiety when I go outside or when I have to interact with other people. All I do now is listen to music, think to myself, and browse the internet in my bedroom. I think my life is already over at this point. I'm just stalling the inevitable suicide. Strangely enough I don't feel afraid of death. I'm afraid of living into my 30s and beyond as a total failure of a human being. Such a life wouldn't be enjoyable or pleasant at all. I think my family secretly detest me. I don't want to be a burden on them well into my 30s. I hardly ever leave my bedroom anymore. There's no dignity in my life.
#1 Wed Sep 23 13:24:46 PDT 2020
My sympathies
#2 Wed Sep 23 15:06:50 PDT 2020
That's why we're here.
#3 Fri Sep 25 00:48:48 PDT 2020
get a job hippie

alternatively learn how to code/sysadmin most of those jobs can be done with little to zero human interaction.

alternatively join a street gang/pmc group, since you're not afraid to die and the payout its pretty high.
#4 Sat Sep 26 05:50:06 PDT 2020
I thought that I somehow ended up, "
sleepposting
". Until you mentioned you weren't in your 30s. I'm trying to dig deep down inside of myself to pull myself out of this. I have thought about trying to do this step program that I'm currently mentally developing to attempt, essentially a seperate persona who takes over my body as well as my mind to "
hack
" myself into a new era of my life.
#5 Sat Sep 26 05:52:41 PDT 2020
>>4
*separate persona
- Excuse the typo that I had made.